Thoughts for Young Moms

Proverbs 12:18 "There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

There are times when we as mothers can rebuke with such severity (even with scripture!) and repetition, that our rebukes are more like "sword thrusts". If we aren't careful and wise with our rebukes to our children, we will be assaulting them emotionally with our words, as well as hurting them spiritually. We must be wise with our words (timing and content!), and always strive to bring healing to them. Our conversations with our children shouldn't end with a rebuke, but rather with the hope of and the clear path to restoration or, "healing". How exhausting for a child (or anyone!) to endure severe words about their disobedience on a regular basis. Another danger is that often, these rebuking conversations end up being the only "spiritual" conversations that happen in our homes. This can be eternally damaging to a child. I have found that it is easy to slip into patterns of constantly correcting and rebuking my children. They seem to constantly be finding trouble on some days, and we get tired of hearing ourselves telling them, "stop doing that!" How can we snap the pattern? How can we bring change to the day that seems to be spiraling downward out of our control? When you catch yourself in the pattern of constantly sharply correcting, stop and take a moment to repent. I don't mean stop what you're doing, (cooking, cleaning, helping with homework), I mean stop the sword thrusts. Here's what might at first seem like a strange "remedy". Find something in the deep recesses of your mind (haha) that your "disobedient child" had done that was good, remind him of it, and then praise him for it. In that very moment. Mean it with all your heart. Your child won't think it strange of you. Just watch. Here's an example. "Reilly, remember when you emptied all of the trash last night? When I asked you, you immediately obeyed, and you did it without complaining or arguing. You had a great attitude. Thank you so much for doing that." When he remembers how he can please you and be a good kid, you will have excited those feelings of honor in him, and his attitude and actions will change. You will have penetrated his heart with your kindness, and stirred him to be good. Isn't this our aim? Not to just get our children to "do what we say, when we say to do it" (danger: hypocrisy ahead), but to help them to want to obey and to long to please their parents? And aren't the means stated above God's given means to us (kindness, spurring one another on to love and good deeds, encouragement, love covering a multitude of sins, timely wise words)?? When we are inspired by God's Word to train our children, and when we are motivated by God's glory to draw our children to the Lord, and when we employ God's means in the process, God will bless us and we will see Him working not only in the lives of our children, but in our own lives as well.

Resolved today to not be rash and thrusting swords with my words. ("Words" so easily become "Swords"...)
Resolved today to carefully guide the "rebuking conversations" with the kids full circle to repentance and restoration.
Resolved today to do all that I can to stimulate my children to love and good deeds, rather than demanding them to love and good deeds.