Friday, September 25, 2009

"It's a Good Mornin..."

"I'm smellin' coffee, Birds are singin' just outside.
Here comes Your mercy, streamin' in with the morning light.
My heart is racin' wakin' up to Your smile, it's a Good Mornin...yeah".

Chris Rice must have it made- at least he must have for a couple of days while he was writing this song. Truth is, I'm not smelling coffee (because that would mean that I had to make it for myself), and I don't hear any birds singing (maybe they heard me yelling at the kids this morning and are scared to come near the house). I haven't gotten enough sleep recently, and this morning sure hasn't gotten off to a very good start.
I've been frustrated recently with the start of the school year as the kids seem to be unable to keep their papers and notebooks in order. No joke, I have to sign approximately 10 different papers EACH NIGHT for the kids, and then they manage to leave them on the coffee table, the floor, the counter, or elsewhere. I've reminded them again and again that soon, I won't be reminding them when I see the papers laying around (hmmmmm). This morning was another reminder that "no reminders" will be coming soon. Layer number one of frustration.
It's Reilly's birthday today. The girls sang to him this morning while I was downstairs making lunches (with a birthday note for Reilly) and cookies for Reilly to bring to his class. They came down, and immediately Reilly was fishing in his lunchpack for his LUNCH birthday note. I scolded him irritably- he said he just wanted to "see" what I put in there for him. "Well, maybe I didn't put ANYTHING in there for you!" Then he was dressing his special birthday breakfast-swedish pancakes- with peanut butter. In his rush, as I watched him dip his knife into the peanut butter, he required another scolding for the way in which he dipped the knife into the peanut butter. Much too far into the jar, and careless. Peanut butter way too high up on the handle for this mom. Layer number two.
"Shea, could you please help Camdyn with her show and tell?" After one attempt to find paper (for Cam's 'clues'), she gave up without telling me. 2 minutes before their ride was supposed to show up, I asked again, and received the third layer of frustration. A lame answer to excuse her incompletion of the task that was put before her. Another scolding for Shea.
I found myself in a huff running around trying to get them all together for school, and putting on an air of "I'll just have to do everything myself and you all will have to deal with whatever doesn't happen." Soon, I realized that they too were putting on an air of frustration as they tried to get their things ready to walk out the door. Ouch.
I'm not even sure what my point is in writing this, and the intermittent cries of my four-month-old are a little bit of a distraction too.
Three things that I am thankful for (though my heart doesn't want to be thankful right now because it's wanting to be stinky). 1) I could still see straight enough to run out to the car when their ride came to seek their forgiveness for being grumpy, rude, and "a mean mommy" this morning. Kids are SO forgiving. 2) Even though I don't "feel" His mercy "streamin' in with the morning light", it still is. His mercies are new every morning- and I desperately need His mercy. Every day. All the time. 3) I can actually hear the birds now (during the intermittent part of the crying). One more thing. I'm usually not so irritable about the peanut butter on the knife. And I usually don't require the older kids to help the younger ones with homework. That only happens when there is something (open house) that takes up homework time the night before and I ran out of options. I gotta go now and feed the baby and spend a little time getting my heart right with the God of Mercy...

6 comments:

Michelle said...

Aww Julie! Thx for sharing! I am reading your blog while I am getting increasingly frustrated with my new dr office that seems to be very disorganized. Why can't things always go our way?! Ha! I am praying for u, please pray for me too!

Jenny said...

I'm encouraged by your humility Julie! I know how to pray for you and your stinky heart today! Love you!

Debbie said...

What a great mom you are Julie. It's not an easy JOB and like everything else frustration sets in once in a while. How about setting up "cubbies" for each kiddo? In time it becomes their responsibility to put all papers, backpack, books etc. in there to take to school the next day. The beginnings of responsibilty and consequences. And knowing you, you and/or Kurt will put love notes in their cubby! My prayers too Julie, you have a beautiful smile :)

Anonymous said...

Why is it I often think your are above these expressions of frustration when in my day I find myself exasperated having to deal with the consistency of teaching, discipline, loving, holding, doing and it doesn't stop all day. From 7:00 am till the day stops and I fall into bed. So thankful to see your transparency and most of all, we serve the same God who graciously pursues us with His lovingkindess and tender mercies!

The Mom said...

You wrote it so that some of us new moms wouldn't feel quite so alone! Even though I know that sin is never pleasing to the LORD, I also know that I can learn with others while the LORD sanctifies them. I only have two, but my days are often filled with layers of frustrations like your day...and I'm so blessed to know that you struggle too! Thank you for opening a window into your heart, so that I can be convicted of my own sin...and encouraged to get up and keep running the race!

The Martinez Family said...

Oh, Julie, reading this entry pierces me through, as I spent much of today with a 'why I have to do everything in your self-important universe' attitude, and had a really snappy tongue to go with it. It's doubly wrong and ridiculous given that both my kids are so young and actually do need me to do much for them - that's why I'm here. I so agree though, kids are incredibly forgiving. Zoe has to be the kindest, most gentle forgiver, always ready to forgive me and welcome me back instantly with smiles, hugs, and kisses, and with no lingering bitterness or resentment. What a humbling example.