Who in the world is that??? He happens to be an expert on mothering (seriously), and has written the most brilliant little book called, "The Mother at Home". I carry ten copies of it so I can pass it out to all young moms. I think it's time I share a bit on the blog. Here's the brilliant insight I read tonight.
"Do not be constantly finding fault. It is at times necessary to censure and to punish. But very much may be done by encouraging children when they do well. Be even more careful to express your approbation of good conduct, than your disapprobation of bad. Nothing can more discourage a child than a spirit of incessant fault-finding on the part of its parent. And hardly any thing can exert a more injurious influence upon the disposition both of the parent and the child. There are two great motives influencing human actions; hope and fear. Both of these are at times necessary. But who would not prefer to have her child influenced to good conduct by the desire of pleasing rather than by the fear of offending?"
I will stop here, though I could go on! This struck me tonight- parts of the day were frustrating to me, and I felt like I was censuring much of the day. After reading this, I repented, and redeemed a moment with Reilly to "express my approbation of (his) good conduct". Upon further reflection, I realize (with heaviness of heart!) that the course of the day so much depends on my attitude and not that of my kids... I can steer them with my encouragement to be sweet with each other, or I can react to their issues and cause a downward spiral of agitation and just plain old bad attitude. It's definitely easier to follow my flesh and "be mean", but I can't honor the Lord in that, and I definitely don't create a warm, happy environment for the kids when that is happening! So I renew my determination now to sweetly encourage my kids and build them up, remembering that my approbation and approval will go a long way to make our home peaceful, happy, fun, and most of all, God-honoring!
7 comments:
this is kristin...wow! that's good stuff! i remember thinking i wanted to be a mom who never raised her voice...how easily that went out the window! this is good to remember for the kids and for my husband as well...edifying words create a better atmosphere than fault finding! thanks, julie!!!
That's really good Julie! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing and encouraging me with that. I will look for the book!
Great stuff. I have never heard of that book, but I am definitely going to try to track it down. Thanks.
Thank you Julie - for writing this. This is Crystal (Barber) Lazenby - and I found you through Jon & Lola's website - so good to see you all again :) I really appreciate the instructive "from the heart" things you share. now I want to get this booklet :0) This was particularly convicting to me - and instructive. Thank you again for the time that you spent with me before I was married - I always remember that time with thanks :)
Thanks I needed to hear that! I'm getting the book!
I love that book. I always have it out on the coffee table because I can't read much of it at a time so I just read a couple pages every week or so... I'm glad you posted this - what a great reminder. Miss you, Liesy
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